2021.10.28 05:34 RinaChoice 7 Minute Workout To Feel Great - LOW IMPACT Workout for Beginners
2021.10.28 05:34 BigMoe52 Full ppr. Pick one to BENCH
2021.10.28 05:34 saygoodnitegracie SD(9) keeps lying “to protect” HCBM, even to her own detriment. I don’t know how to deal with the problem wothout involving SD in parenting conflict.
TL;DR: There is no trust (absolutely zero) between co-parents and families, and I know it’s hard on SDs. SD9 wants us all to get along, lies to “protect Mom” and just makes it worse for everyone, especially her. I don’t know how to deal with this and teach her to be a better person without trashing her Mom further, thus perpetuating the cycle of conflict.
Background: HCBM was left by DH while very pregnant with SD #2 (now 5) because of years of abuse and infidelity on her part. BM took SD (then 5) without consent when they separated after he confronted her about her behaviour, she used her mat leave with SD #2 as a weapon to limit DH’s access, time with baby was nearly zero; he had to fight tooth and nail to undo that precedent. Everything required an emergency court order to force her: even a single night at a Christmas, 2 years in a row.
3y$100k custody battle follows, her seeking sole custody due “abandonment” and his non-existent “anger issues”. (Reddit, DH is the sweetest man alive, patient to fault, and the best Dad I’ve ever seen). We went through a 6 month, $25k social worker assessment (Section 30 in Ontario) ordered by the court. BM was found to be verbally and emotionally abusive, lacking in foresight, unable to understand the consequences of her actions. BM refused to accept social worker’s findings, insisted on a second assessment because social worker obviously failed to understand the situation(?). No, because that’s not how things work. Judge granted equal custody and access, despite abuse, because findings weren’t severe enough(!?!). We were essentially told we won a great victory getting 50/50 given young ages and determined BM, so not to complain.
A few months after CO finalized HCBM becomes pregnant with new partner. Instructs SDs not to tell DH about pregnancy. For 4+ months then-7SD is regularly reminded by BM to keep the secret, despite significant complications. At 6 months, HCBM has stroke due to pre-eclampsia and nearly dies. Emergency c-section, baby is stillborn. DH and I know nothing, only discover the pregnancy existed once BM had to admit she was hospitalized. Even then, the lies continued: BM insisted situation wasn’t serious, she was being released, and sent her mother to pick up children. At the time, she was actually in ICU, and children were brought to hospital to see her, then kept in grandmother’s care for 2 days. (I consider this kidnapping).
SDs (7 and 3) were dressed up and made to do photo shoot with stillborn 6mnth gestation sister’s body, then dropped off at our home immoderately after with instructions not to tell what had happened. DH and I find out 2 days later when a mutual friend screenshotted a FB post by BM with pic of dead baby and SDs and sent it to us.
So a 7 yr old had to grieve in silence for 2 whole days, afraid to speak for fear of betraying her mom, afraid to seek support. I’ve never been so upset in my life. The convo when we talked to her about the pictures and situation was one of the worst of my life: she sobbed and said her Mom told her she wasn’t allowed to tell us anything, she knew it was wrong but she had to.
Fast forward 2 years: SD is in therapy, but not improving coping mechanisms. SD is a truly great kid, smart, kind, well-mannered, thoughtful, but easily overwhelmed and tends to lie when stressed, mostly about her mother. Therapist says family conflict is giving her anxiety, we should get along better, but how you “get along better” with lying abuser? CO calls for parallel parenting to minimize conflict, but therapist says this is causing stress too.
HCBM is constantly doing stupid, small things like “deciding” she should have Halloween this year (despite CO) and making plans w/ peers before speaking to us about changes. SDs mention they picked out costumes w mum, I say actually you’re with us for Halloween this year. SD9 becomes very quiet so I ask if they made plans and SD repeatedly says no. 5 mins later I ask about costumes and she happily chatters away that she and her best friend have coordinating costumes and are going trick it treating together: AKA, they made plans.
We had a talk about why she felt the need to lie: I wasn’t angry, very calm, but it’s happened a few times lately and needed to be addressed. She said it was because she didn’t want us to be mad at her mom. My points: #1: it’s not her job to protect her mom, she’s an adult who makes her own choices and faces her own consequences. #2: she seems to lie about her mom a lot. #3: lying foabout her mom has caused her serious trauma in the past. #4: I can’t figure out why she lied about something so small as Halloween, but it’s concerning given history. Don’t know if she’s being coached or has been conditioned, so it leads to further distrust. #5: liars have bad life outcomes, you don’t want that kind of life. #6 Extra concerning because SD was willing to ruin her own fun (ie miss out on plans w/best friend) rather than tell the truth. She’s putting protecting her mom from her bad behaviour above her own best interests.
I feel justified in everything I said, but I also know I put my toes over the line. We fail as parents if she learns to be either a victim or a victimizer from her narcissistic BM’s behaviour. But we also fail if we’re exposing her to stressful family conflict. Everything I’ve read about protecting kids from narcissism parents, and much of what court ordered social worker recommended is at odds with what SD’s therapist keeps telling us.
I am so FRUSTRATED by this stupid Halloween thing, which is silly, but so believe it’s emblematic or much more stupid problems boiling below the surface. I’m afraid because she’ll be a tween soon, and things are bound to get a lot more complicated. Advice? Admonition? Commiseration?
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2021.10.28 05:34 crazyguy1908 World eaters
2021.10.28 05:34 Adwixeer Back to all its former glory, and no less. The restoration of this Alfa Romeo GTV6 2.5 involved the removal and reconstruction of the corroded parts, thorough servicing of all the mechanical components, and a complete repaint of the body.
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2021.10.28 05:34 penisgucamoleman I am new to the game, can anybody tell me if this is a good early game team?
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2021.10.28 05:34 Ris-08 A 10yr old school project I helped record. Somehow got an A+..
2021.10.28 05:34 -Junior_07 2 Wristbands and Hotel Room
I have two party pass wristbands including a Private bedroom with King size bed for two at Freehand Miami. Unfortunately my brother and his wife couldn’t make it but I will be there with my wife and the room is under my name. If interested let me know. Can meet in person at Freehand to make sure everything is legit before you pay. Paid $1058. Willing to sell for $800. Lmk. Thanks
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2021.10.28 05:34 Zestyclose_Store_942 32 [M4F] Happy Weekend
I broke up with a 5 year relationship not too long ago. Then all of a sudden, my friends started calling me.
Turns out, she's now married with the one she cheated on me.
Well, we gotta move on. But it's hard doing it alone.
So here I am. Looking for someone, to help me with the situation.
Im not saying Im gonna use you just to forget her. But someone to be busy with genuine connection.
I am not totally into chatting. I prefer meetup.
So, I'll be waiting!
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2021.10.28 05:34 YeeGigadyB0iMemeLord I fell in love with a sraight guy (I'm a guy)
I fell in love with my best friend about year and a half back and I told him because I thought that would fix things even though he took ot well and said no as resectfully as he could I still can't stop thinking about him in a romantic context I just can't get over it and I've tried just focusing on myself (I'm autosexual )-[and bi] but it didn't work so I came here for help.
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2021.10.28 05:34 mxosborn [OC] 1929 Golden Ford Model A gathering dust in an old warehouse
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2021.10.28 05:34 Crussh00 ..
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2021.10.28 05:34 sigridsnow POV: squad revive
2021.10.28 05:34 Luna_DaRedditor wfl?
2021.10.28 05:34 maimaimeow walkie talkies
2021.10.28 05:34 Next_Film Folding side mirrors
I have just recently became a volvo owner, and got stuck with something. I cannot seem to fold the cars side mirrors. The one thing I find everywhere is to press R+L at the same time than release to fold the mirrors but it doesn't work. It also doesn't lower the mirrors in reverse. The mirror cannot be folded manually at least I did not want to force it. Does it sound like a malfunction? I am almost sure that the car has power folding mirrors.
Anyone with any advise?
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2021.10.28 05:34 andromak974 39 M4F France......... or elsewhere
Salut envie et besoin de découvrir de nouveaux horizons. Envie de rencontrer de nouvelles personnes. Whether you come from here or elsewhere. Desire and need to discover new horizons. Want to meet new people. i am an open minded man. friendly meeting or more.
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2021.10.28 05:34 rehditt 2x Sonos One or 2x Sonos 5 (last gen)
2021.10.28 05:34 GoD-LastNinja2 Pixel perfect placement: almost the whole body is out of the bushes, but I'm hidden nonetheless.
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2021.10.28 05:34 futoshijapanese Popsicle Puppy, My first NFT Project at BitClout
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2021.10.28 05:34 PowersHD All jokes aside this new FNAF game looks sick
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2021.10.28 05:34 OhShitItsJeremy [Southern California]Anyone know if this is a Tick or not? I found it on my leg which is really weird. Used my microscope to take the picture
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2021.10.28 05:34 trueworldnews On October 10th 2010, Curaçao became a country within the Kingdom of the Netherlands. The historic facades on Handelskade are an iconic sight of the island's capital, Willemstad. [/u/sovereign217]
2021.10.28 05:34 waxjee Krypto Mining Steuern in Österreich
ich mine seit fast einem Jahr in einen Miningpool ETH ein bisschen vor mich hin mit einer alten Grafikkarte (AMD RX 570) die sonst eh nur herumgelegen wäre.
Habe damit bis jetzt etwa 900$ erhalten, welche auf einer Wallet bei Binance liegen.
Was ich bis jetzt immer noch nicht verstanden habe ist, wie und ob Hobbymäßiges Mining bei diesen geringen Einnahmen zu versteuern ist. Ist bei diesen Zahlen bereits ein Gewerbe anzumelden? Darauf habe ich ehrlich gesagt nicht wirklich Lust und ist auch zu aufwendig für diese Mini Gewinne.
Wozu bin ich verpflichtet? Wird Pool Mining gleich behandelt wie Solo Mining? Gibt es Wege die Steuerpflicht zu umgehen mit der Steuerfreigrenze von 440€/Jahr? Also einmal im Jahr ETH im Wert von 440€ zu verkaufen und aufs Giro Konto überweisen? Muss das dann wo angegeben werden?
Würde mich freuen, wenn mir jemand ein bisschen weiterhelfen kann, der Ahnung von der Materie hat.
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2021.10.28 05:34 thealmightydp Upvote & I'll become a permanent supporter